By Shasmin A.
Depression is defined as a state of low mood and aversion
to activity that can affect a person's thoughts, behavior, feelings and sense
of well-being. Some life causes of this mood can be
sexual abuse, bereavement, neglect, unequal parental treatment of siblings, or physical
abuse. Experts say though, that depression is caused by a combination of
factors, such as the person's genes, their biochemical environment, personal
experience and psychological factors. I experience depression in middle school,
high school, and from time to time because of neglect and being treated like
I’m stupid because of a wide arrangement of subjects.
In middle school, where this started, I was
neglected by friends and family. Friends and other acquaintances took advantage
of my friendliness and how much I would help others. This was a little more of
an annoyance than anything. Of course, in middle school, everyone got into the
dating thing and I of course should have waited awhile for this to happen. In
the eighth grade, an acquaintance took advantage of me and spiraled me into a
bushel of bad thoughts and personal problems. I couldn’t handle the pain,
emotional and physical, so I dealt with my pains in other ways. I was neglected
by family members because I lacked smarts and talent, so, I didn’t add up to
what my other family members were. This made me depressed because I was always
looked down on. When the depression began to get worse, my mom made me seek
professional help, to see a psychologist. The psychologist helped me a little
and then put me on some gross depression medication: sertraline (Zoloft), which
actually made my depression worse. After I was put on the medication, I can’t
recall what happened next.
The high school depressions didn’t occur
until after my accident, which was in the first sophomore year in 2006. This
was caused because of my mobility and my emotional status, for I could not
remember how to perform the daily activities from day to day. My memory was
affected in the accident, so, when it came to taking tests and working on
projects, it was very difficult. My “friends” from before saw me as a charity
case, so they avoided me like the plague.
My teachers treated me worse than the students from time to time because
of how I would give up easily and my one on one got frustrated too easily. It
was really bad when the teachers gave up on me because they wouldn’t explain
certain things, like math, to me and I had to drop the course.
After I graduated high school, I imagined
things would get better and I was wrong. I was expected to go to college,
graduate, get a job, and move out. Well, I tried the college road, and with all
of the classes I had to take and retake, I gave up on that. I tried to get a
part-time job, but, most places require either two years of experience or a
college degree, which I have none of them, so, that wasn’t the right road to go
down either. Because of my disability, I do receive SSI, but that still isn’t
enough to move out of my parent’s house, so, the moving out decision still
didn’t happen. I still have bills and other things to pay for and the job
search doesn’t make me any less depressed since no one will hire me because of lack
of experience, meaning I don’t have retail or food service experience.
From time to time now, I do experience some
kind of depressive mood from my inner thoughts telling me that I will never
amount to anything in my life. But, to get out of the depressive state, the
main things I do are I either write down my thoughts and feelings, or I will
just take a nap. It helps me relax and think of other things.
